WIP Wind Shear by Chilord - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Peter North, Jun 3, 2017.

  1. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

    Mar 5, 2006
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    Theoretically yes, but it requires the owner of the intellectual property to be bothered enough to get their lawyers on it. The only time JKR has really intervened in fanfic was to force RestrictedSection.org to put an age gate on their site or face closure.
  2. Lynnx

    Lynnx Squib

    Feb 11, 2014
    I read the 15 chapters posted on FF.net so I don't know how the story ends. The numerous typos and repetitive use of certain words and phrases is very off putting and it definitely reads like a first draft even though this is supposedly the beta'd version.

    It was enough to keep me entertained for 100k words and I did enjoy the fight scenes and Harry's particular brand of magic, but honestly there were a few things that really bothered me.

    Damn near every character talks with the same voice, as mentioned by other posters. Orion/Cygnus/Charlus are the same person.

    Pretty much every character the author doesn't like is a blubbering idiot and way too much time is spent showing how inept Voldemort is. Villains aren't intimidating if you're exposed to them constantly and all they ever do is fail. Super one dimensional evil Voldemort as well which I understand is basically canon, but isn't interesting, especially if you're going to spend so much time in his head.

    The extremely poorly explained source of Harry's power. He trained to be an auror, didn't like it, and joined a band of lunatics where he supposedly became stronger than Dumbledore and Voldemort by learning creative uses of spells everyone knows that nobody ever thought of before. Wat.
  3. Sorrows

    Sorrows Professor Prestige DLP Supporter

    Jun 17, 2008
    High Score:
    I enjoyed it. Its cliche-ridden, massively over dramatic and has all the issues people bought up. Still I think because of the authors well developed style somehow elevates it. Its almost a nostalgia dive back into what I would have enjoyed at 14 or so, without the awful writing that normally accompanies such a plot and characterisation.

    I dunno, objectively it is bad, but it had its moments and I found the gleeful deep-dive into all the cliches of 2006 oddly satisfying to read.
  4. Jester

    Jester Seventh Year

    Apr 19, 2012
    Strictly a guilty pleasure read. I've only read through the 16 chapters on FF. It's not the greatest thing ever, yet I found myself somewhat enjoying the story. It's a nostalgic take on a story from 10 years ago.

    There are issues with the characterization of everyone. Specifically Cygnus, Orion, and Bellatrix. Really all the Blacks are kind of off kilter.

    The writing is repetitive. It's competent, but struggles with vocabulary, and spelling.

    If you like Super!Harry, Incapable!Dumbledore, and Bellatrix/Harry you might really enjoy this.

    I'd give it a 3/5 if you meet those requirements.
  5. Azotez

    Azotez Seventh Year

    Sep 3, 2010
    I am about halfway through and it is a pretty good story. It reminds me a lot of Delende Est with a lot of the same weaknesses and strengths. It is definitely worth of a rating of 3 but would need a lot more work and extra scenes to float above that number.
  6. Drake

    Drake Seventh Year

    Oct 16, 2007
    Honestly, this story is pretty low quality, but it also is complete. While none of the dialog or prose is written well it was fairly easy to read quickly. This fic is pretty much exactly what I look for in an Almost Recommended fic.

  7. Verovir

    Verovir Disappeared

    Apr 30, 2017
    High Score:
    T̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶q̶u̶i̶t̶e̶ ̶w̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶w̶r̶i̶t̶t̶e̶n̶ Scratch that. It was average. There are some minor spelling errors, but nothing major that I would've noticed. Plot is really good, though. The story kept my attention until chapter 15, where Harry
    teaches students completely inappropriately. I don't like that kind of society where making child soldiers from young age is apparently completely legitimate and only way to keep them safe. Aurors are obviously incapable of protecting anyone because they always arrive too late, politicians are doing nothing, etc. My point is that it shouldn't be handled that way. It's very popular in stories where Harry is DADA teacher.

    Some characters are present in the story solely as author's voice. You know the drill. Author likes killing death eaters as opposed to imprisoning them, so author sets up a situation where he/she (in form of some characters, sometime Harry, and always Moody, he just exists to sprout author's drivels) meets Dumbledore (who is a blabbering idiot) to convince him to kill death eaters on sight, using very long-winded and pointless discussions.

    Part of a reason why I started reading it was promise of a Harry/Bellatrix pairing, but it was still nowhere in sight by chapter 15. Disappointing.

    Everyone except of Harry is essentially incompetent idiot in a fight. Harry is apparently Dumbledore's and Voldemort's equal in skill, just because he can transfigure a few statues. Strange. On that note, Voldemort almost got beaten by a 17 year old in one moment. He is quite incompetent too.

    That said, it's not a bad story. I enjoyed reading it. Author certainly knows how to keep reader hooked. Plot kept me reading, along with promise of Harry/Bellatrix and some interesting characters (despite some/most of them being honestly quite stupid. I kept mistaking Charlus for Cygnus. There was little difference between them.). Fight scenes were pretty good, Bellatrix was properly insane, Andromeda was quite well done imo, etc.

    The story looks 3/5-ish. Strong 3/5-ish. Could be 4/5 if some characters were more rational.
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2017
  8. kuci

    kuci Muggle

    Jul 20, 2013
    I think I remember a fic from Chilord - Echoes of the Fallen, which I used to enjoy before I grew some kind of taste. It has been a while but I can see that that the author has not learned from their mistakes that happened back in that and actually made a 180 and did things here that killed the fic above. As an example I will go with power level, at the end of this old mentioned fic they said they could not continue it because of a simple reason, the protagonist becoming extremely powerful and thus removing any kind of suspense in conflicts.

    Their protagonist is completely self-righteous, arrogant and preachy. His "convincing" arguments somehow completely baffle the other side into immediately agreeing with him or at least removing any need for rebuttal, as shown in the first chapter with his conversation with Moody or later on with Dumbledore.

    Storm Chaser is a ridiculous name, but even more ridiculous is the fact that Law Enforcement allowed him to use it as an official name.

    Let's attack muggle pub in London not far from Leaky Cauldron, because... I don't even know why. They say it's to bloody their wands so to speak, but if that were the case there would be much more softer targets, farther from the close presence of the wizarding world. Bella doing 180 after that one meeting is weird as well.

    And that's just chapter 1. I managed to get to chapter 12 or 13, but haven't actually finished the fic, I simply could not get over the cartoonish antagonists, who somehow lack common sense, but if you like that kind of thing, who am I to judge. Time travel stories are my guilty pleasure as well as Harry/Bella so I will go with 3/5, otherwise I would not recommend this at all.
  9. nevu

    nevu First Year

    Jul 29, 2015
    2.5-3/5. It's a good time waster, but is riddled with issues that have already been covered in the thread.

    70s time travel fics are more difficult than most other HP fanfiction because by definition they'll have a ton of characters who are essentially OCs. Arcturus, Charlus, Dorea et all are technically OC in all but name in all of these stories. So I'm willing to cut a little slack on weak characterization.

    Speaking of this, you can definitely tell that it was written quite a while ago as the family relationships are different from canon for Charlus + Harry.

    It's also not a great fic to go into for any sort of romance (the listed ship never actually occurs in the story), and seemed more to be an excuse to skip from fight scene to fight scene. The story just kind of stops with very little build-up of any kind, making the ending not very memorable.

    As far as the fight scenes go, it's sad when a Harry/Bella fic published around the same time which features a literal fucking hyperbolic time training chamber actually had much more suspenseful fights (I think I enjoyed it more, though it was far more obviously ridiculous. Including random super awesome training rooms is the type of mistake that an author can correct as they mature as a writer, the ones in this fic seem longer term). There's no point in this story at which Harry seems to be in any danger at all, making the technical competence of the written word describing his fights somewhat wasted. "Harry cast spells. He was awesome." would do as good a job for many of the fights.

    Really feels like an excuse for self-promotion wrapped in a guilty pleasure past-time from almost a decade ago with a random ending slapped onto it to call it complete. I actually don't actually mind self-promotion from authors as long as it's somewhat minor (ie not in literally every chapter's notes) and it doesn't feel purely written for that purpose, the former of which this story breaks and the latter of which I'm unsure of.

    Self-promotion of this kind is also completely self-defeating when sufficient skill is not displayed. I had no urge whatsoever to look up his original fiction due to the flaws in this one - I can barely tolerate a wank-fest from a character I know and like, so I'm not sure I'd be willing to read a story likely to involve the same.

    Basically, I'd describe its problems as in line with Gaiman's characterization of comic books in the era before sandman : "Pre-adolescent male power fantasy". There is an audience who will eat that up, but I lost my taste for it long ago.

    I think I disliked it far more than I realized after I started writing about it.

    I usually would restrain myself from being this harsh on feedback for fanfiction, but the self-promotion allows me to give it a review more akin to a commercial novel without feeling guilty.
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2017
  10. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

    Jun 4, 2005
    Something I read for a little while only because it reminded me of the old days. Eventually the small details started to pile up and became big issues, like Dumbledore being a straight idiot at times.