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Complete Witnessed here in Time and Blood by whistle.the.silver - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Newcomb, Apr 17, 2015.

  1. Newcomb

    Newcomb Minister of Magic

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    Location:
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    Title: Witnessed here in Time and Blood
    Author: whistle.the.silver
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Romance
    Pairings: Hermione/Fleur
    Summary: When Shell Cottage receives a motley group, Fleur and Bill do their best to ensure their safety. In the weeks that follow, wounds are healed and plans are concocted. Fleur and Hermione find themselves coming to a new understanding of one another.
    Link: FFN Chapter 1.

    This is something I ran across randomly the other day. It's not exactly in DLP's wheelhouse, but I thought I'd put it out there in case anyone was in the mood for something like this.

    It's Hermione/Fleur, which I suspect will be a significant dealbreaker for most.

    Starts off as Harry, Hermione, and Ron escape Malfoy Manor during Book 7.

    Canon compliant up to that point, and it follows the canon plot as far as Voldemort / Battle of Hogwarts, although with a few really nice expanded touches regarding the battle and its aftermath. (This is one of the highlights of the fic, actually.)

    Pros:

    The writing is excellent. The content or style might not be to taste, but the actual prose is extremely solid. With most fanfic, you can see the wires - with this, it's smooth enough that you don't, at least not very often. Personal taste-wise, it's a bit florid at times, almost too literary - the author obviously knows a ton about literature and poetry and there are references to it all over the place.

    Harry is a really pleasant surprise. Most fics that turn Harry into a secondary character seem to have no fucking clue to what do with him - in this, even though he's not a central character, he has a lot of impact and the times he's featured, he really shines.

    Hermione and Fleur have some really nice moments. The romance as a whole neatly sidesteps some romance cliches, and falls facefirst into a ditch with others. For the first maybe 1/3, I was really, really impressed with how it handled the inevitable "but what about Bill?" question that this setup demands. It seemed messy and complicated and no one of the three of them looked entirely wrong or right, and I loved it.

    There is a "twist," though, and it ends up being... well, let's just say that it's a very big YMMV.
    Lol no, go read it yourself. Do you flip to the last page of books, too?
    The magic discussed (and used, on one memorable occasion) rings really, really true to my personal headcanon for HP. There's a bit about the significance of events, about how the symbolism of certain actions or emotions has magical "weight" that seemed like it was ripped straight off of my notes document for my own fic. Granted, magic theory and magic itself isn't a huge focus for the fic - Fleur/Hermione take center stage, and they never really leave it - but what's there is really compelling to me.

    The Hogwarts Battle aftermath is done pretty damn well, covering a few issues I never really considered about what happens after a big battle where a bunch of people die.

    Author avoided most Veela cliches, and ended up kind of subverting one for the Hogwarts battle. That particular thread - Fleur's extended family, the queen, the battle maidens - wasn't really explored all that much, but that's a good thing, in my mind.

    Cons:

    The "twist" I think I'd have to call a negative. Without getting into too much detail, it wasn't the fact that it happened, it was the way it made the last two chapters basically a mouthpiece for the author to talk about a specific issue. I mean, I'm on the same page as the author, I agree with her, but there's a pretty strong "preaching to the choir" feeling here given the context.

    Luna is "close but not quite," and that's almost worse than getting her completely wrong.

    Fleur is very much Book 7 Fleur, and not Book 4 Fleur. Kind of speaks to personal taste, here, but I missed some of Fleur's haughtiness. She doesn't feel OOC, especially considering the circumstances (protracted war, people in danger), but she's had her rough edges smoothed considerably, and Fleur is more interesting with rough edges.

    Comes really close to eye-rolling when it gets too literary. Warning: poetry / song lyrics in the actual text at one point. Danger zone. Doesn't dip into that well often, but once is enough to be a turn-off for some.

    Hermione is written pretty well, in my opinion, and I think her emotional state throughout the fic is pretty realistic given the context, but the whole "oh my god, she's doing X, she must hate me" thing (when X is something that could very easily be a sign of attraction) is beyond cliche.

    All in all, I'd say give this fic a shot if you're down with high-quality writing that's focused on characters reacting to adversity, if you're okay with everything else taking a backseat to the romance angle, and if you can handle enjoying the journey even if the end (possibly) really hits you the wrong way.

    3/5

    I would give it a solid 4 for the writing alone, but even as someone who's a self-proclaimed admirer of a good love story, this is pushing it.

    It's complete at 190,000 words, and there are two sequels that I haven't read yet, both complete at 30K words and 6K words, respectively.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2015
  2. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Oh, Newcomb, you forgot to add the story datasheet... ;)

    I'd say a 190,000 word fic, and complete at that, is always worth its own thread. Even if it should end in the Trash Bin it will gain much more attention in the review board - and thus readers.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2015
  3. Newcomb

    Newcomb Minister of Magic

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    Heh, I did consider putting it up, but in the end it just struck me as more of a niche fic, even if it does have the advantage of being complete and long.

    Plus, I can already tell how it will go with its own thread. A couple people will chime in with "won't read b/c Hermione," a third person will start ranting about how Harry was a background character, Taure will come in with some thoughts about how the magic pointed to some conceptually interesting things but didn't follow through on them, then MattSilver will put a cherry on top by quoting the entirety of the Hermione/Fleur beach sex scene and say "10/10 would masturbate to again."

    /thread

    Oh and Minion I added the story datasheet, just for you :D
     
  4. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Hermione/Fleur beach sex scene, you say.


    You're not going to make us trawl through the fic looking for it ourselves, are you?
     
  5. MattSilver

    MattSilver The Traveller

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    While sex on the beach is an enjoyable enough alcoholic cocktail and also a song by the renowned Dutch musical geniuses known as T-Spoon, I cannot in good conscience recommend the literal variation as an activity due to the vigilance required during the act to avoid making it an orgy with some particularly persistent grains of sand, which just distracts from the overall pleasure of the act. Most would intend to get around the risk of that and just have sex on a fresh blanket or a towel on the beach, but then what's the difference between that and having sex on a blanket or a towel on a patch of grass? None, that's what, and you're a madman if you think otherwise.

    See, it ain't true sex on the beach unless there's the risk of sand or hermit crabs or beached whales to ruin the mood, and quite frankly, Hermione and Fleur should know better. Perhaps they did and thought they could cast a spell or two to improve the situation, and in that case I consider it cheating and am quite disappointed in them and their lack of sportsmanship. Or they are in fact aroused by beached whales and hermit crabs and sand, in which case they clearly have issues that do not mesh with how I view their canon characterisations, and without the sufficient writing to explain the divergence in their lives that led to such issues arising, the author has failed to truly immerse and engage me in this endeavour.

    0/10 would not masturbate to again.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2015
  6. Newcomb

    Newcomb Minister of Magic

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    Chapter 9, second half. It's not hard to find because it takes up pretty much an entire chapter. It's not amazing smut or anything, but it fits the tone. Knock yourself out, figuratively.

    Fair point Matt. Actually that scene would have been so much better with a realistic description of what a beach smells like.
     
  7. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Yeah ... no. 2/5










    (Are you twitching yet, Newcomb?)
     
  8. Agravaine

    Agravaine Seventh Year

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    Agreed with Newcomb on most counts.

    The story is structured oddly, entirely contained in its first half with the realities of life at Shell Cottage before exploding into a lot of very sudden (but very cool) world-building at Hogwarts that feels like it belongs to another story. As Newcomb mentioned, the post-battle cleanup is incredibly well done, and the highlight of the work.

    Can't help but think the author wouldn't be better served by hatcheting off several thousand words. The endless cycle of angst, self-doubt, and introspection begins to feel very claustrophobic—it's realistic given the context, but repetitive and not always pleasant to read. But after a rocky first chapter, the quality of the prose is among the best in the fandom, and the author has an excellent knack for character voice.

    Many excellent insights into Hermione's character, and into her relationship with Harry and Ron. (Not as good as Vera Rozalsky's Amends, or Truth and Reconciliation, but what is?) The consequences of her role in the raid on Malfoy Manor were smartly portrayed (as traumatic and damaging, but not in a way that strips her character of its ability or autonomy).

    Revelations at the end were clever and well-executed.

    Contra to Newcomb, I liked the last two chapters. I don't think they were too preachy, and there were a lot of very relatable, human moments in them. Moreover, it was nice that we finally got to see everyone not horribly depressed.

    Found the final treatment of Ron quite disappointing. I get why the author made the choices she did . . . but given her level of skill, I'd wish she'd seen fit to better subvert the tropes surrounding his character.

    Much to like and some to not, but it undoubtedly deserves a place in the Library. 5/5, without reservation.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2015
  9. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    From the author's profile, about the story :

    So, to put things in perspective -- everyone in the wizarding world is bisexual, Neville and Hermione have both dated the same long list of guys and girls (that might make for an awkward relationship), and said list includes Draco Malfoy, obviously dressed in his metaphorical tight-fitting leather pants.

    If you started reading the story with full knowledge of the above, then you're a much braver man than I am.

    (At least the author finds Neville/Percy difficult to imagine. Thank the Gods for small favors.)
     
  10. Agravaine

    Agravaine Seventh Year

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    Won't say much for risk of thread drift (or for this being spun off into its own thread where I have to defend the merits of a work I haven't read in over a year), but . . . consider giving it a chance, even if it contains elements that seem anathematic to personal taste. It is a thoughtful and insightful exploration of the personal, social, and political sides of Wizarding Reconstruction.
     
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