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Almost Recommended fanfiction - From barely readable to almost good

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by ip82, Jan 14, 2006.

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  1. Okay, let me see if I can explain this one, so basically Voldemort captures Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, Ginny, and Ron after the Department of Mysteries Battle, whenever Harry disobeys him he tortures him then nurses him back to health while training him, eventually he forces Harry to marry Pansy who he has a child with.

    It then skips forward to after Bellatrix dies and Harry is talking to Nagini about how unnerved he is that Hermione, who has lived with the Lestranges and I'm guessing was brainwashed by them, was crying at Bella's funeral, after explaining what happened to everyone else Nagini curls around Harry and they go to sleep, the main focus of the story is the platonic relationship between Harry and Nagini.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 23, 2009
  2. Jamven

    Jamven Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Very quick read, decent one-shot. Harry comes to a different interpretation of the prophecy

    3/5, not really long enough to be considered Library worthy
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2009
  3. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    That was actually quite interesting for what it was.
     
  4. CosmosGravitation

    CosmosGravitation Professor

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    Impossible Escape by Wand Control

    Summary: "In an act of naivete, a five year old Harry Potter unknowingly gets involved in a Magical Oath with Lord Voldemort. Twelve years later, he is still trying to escape from his past mistake. It's not easy when every path seems to lead to his death. No Slash."

    Decent story. Writing is okay, but definitely not exceptional. Fair amount of grammar/spelling mistakes and the story felt rushed. Requires some suspension of disbelief, especially concerning characters actions and the magical oath.

    Premise is interesting at least, and it looks to be HP/NT. If it was better done I would have posted it for the library, but as it is the story falls short and belongs here.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2009
  5. Tasoli

    Tasoli Minister of Magic

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    A little short but it is good if it was longer it would be in library
    3.4/5
     
  6. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    The cliffhanger ending is sort of redundant though - unless Dumbledore gets overcome with guilt in a he's going to slaughter Harry. And his interjections never amount to any more than a halfhearted. 'No Harry!' It's obvious the author just wanted Harry to have his righteous rants.

    2.5/5.
     
  7. Stenstyren

    Stenstyren Professor

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    Well, i actually had thoughts about posting this in the library since i enjoyed it a lot but i realize this is not for everyone.

    Harry is more then overpowered and it does feel like he´s never really threatened but i, for some reason i can´t comprehend, still read the whole fic in one go and was almost glued to the screen the entire time.

    There is a sequel in the works too, first chapter was just posted.

    This thread has been quiet for a while which is sad because it holds a higher standard then the for review section:)
     
  8. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    This story would actually have a been a great original work if he'd stopped short of God!Harry.

    The original concept really had me going though.
     
  9. SKsniper128

    SKsniper128 Fifth Year

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    It's a She, actually.

    I loved this story, but on the bright side,
    He gets his Godly abilities locked away for the duration of his mortal life
    after the events of the first story.

    -Spectre
     
  10. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    I left a review for this story somewhere along the line, but I think this one, by someone named Fen Dweller, pretty much sums up my thoughts upon reading the end of the story.

    I'm kind of glad it's over and done with.

    It's really a shame that I never got to truly care about Enna and, honestly, how could I? She spent the majority of the story either on the outs with Harry over the fact he was raped (!) or she was unconscious. How can you care about a character that isn't in the story?

    Come to think of it, that's why I dislike the canon Harry/Ginny pairing. All of a sudden she's kissing Harry in book six and one is left wondering, "Who is this girl and where did she suddenly appear from?" Then she vanishes again and we're supposed to think it's a GOOD thing at the end when they marry.

    I was all set to like Enna, then she turned annoying, then she disappeared from the story entirely. She didn't even make it into the epilogue, but I'll assume she and Harry got married, since they had children together.

    What little goodwill I managed to foster for Enna got worn away by the constant reader abuse she was used to implement; that constant, torturous back and forth where one minute she and Harry are in love, the next minute she hates his guts, then she loves him again but can barely stand to look at him, then she loves him but her mother is being a literal royal bitch about Harry, then he's on death's door, she's on death's door, he's frozen, she's kidnapped, she's frozen...

    It didn't end until the story did and, unfortunately, instead of saying, "Whew, that was a fun ride! It's a shame it had to end." I was left saying, "Whew, thank goodness THAT's over with! What a relief."

    Enna was done a real disservice here and the fact that Lush was holding her children in the epilogue, while Enna herself was completely absent, is the final slap in the face.

    Without actually spelling it out on screen, that's about as close as you could get to coming right out and reminding us that Enna is nothing more than a royal shaft warmer to keep Harry's baby-maker from getting cold before she croaks and Lush gets to take over and spend eternity knocking boots with Harry.

    As for Aeyris: It looked as if she'd become halfway likable for all of ten seconds, before it became clear she would always be a complete jerk.

    There were some fascinating ideas here, and with a significant reduction in angst and reader abuse, it could have been a great story. Also, spending more time making us hate the bad guys instead of the good guys might be a good idea. Something to keep in mind in the future...
    The things that are wrong with this story irk me so much because it had a lot of potential.

    It also suffers from having a hundred OCs, and virtually none of them are likable, more than a few are outright annoying, and some really fucking piss me off... Sadly, the latter are not the villains.

    The main love interest isn't terribly interesting, mostly because she's absent for the vast majority of the story.
    But not before she ends up in a soul bond with Harry, for the express purpose of jerking the reader around, as their relationship keeps falling to new lows and you find yourself wishing the fickle, ineffectual, bitch would just die.

    Seriously, the stupid yo-yo act the author pulls with Harry's love life would border on reader abuse, if it weren't for the fact that after a few chapters of it, the reader stops giving a shit because it becomes so painfully obvious that the author is just using the relationship as a bludgeon to beat the reader over the head, in lieu of skillfully pulling at their heartstrings, thinking the mess she's making is actually compelling drama.

    And the mysterious 'antagonist' is unknown for 90% of the story, leaving you feeling like Harry's just sort of there, waiting for a destiny or a calling... or something. Anything!

    Incidentally, during the other 10%, you won't be able to make yourself give a shit. If basically feels like there almost isn't a villain in this.

    I couldn't help but wonder, once or twice, whether this story wasn't written for the sole purpose of allowing the author to write about the OC that the sequel focuses on.

    If you're interested reading about a Harry that is uber-powerful, but still gets stymied by everyone and their mother, where he's the only canon character in a sea of (unmemorable at best, rage-inducing at worst) OCs, in a new world with a new set of deities and beliefs... Give this a try.

    I guarantee that the more you like it, the more you'll be frustrated by the squandered potential.
     
  11. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    Totally agree.

    This story, when Harry was still just a super-powered battle demon who was locked up in a closet until he had to kill something, was a great original idea. If the author had kept that plotline and focused on Harry learning to control his power to an extent and trying to break free from under the thumb of his captors, I would have been perfectly content.

    Instead the author simply brushes that conflict aside in favor of making Harry a god, which almost completely removes the original points of conflict except for when the author needs to contrive a setback for poor god!Harry.

    And it would have been nice if the author took more than 1.5 seconds to name her gods.

    I mean Jesus Christ, those are the most uninspired names I've ever seen. Ever.
     
  12. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    ... lol, Hell Eyes. And wow, I was looking for this again a few weeks ago but couldn't remember its name. o.o Anyway, yeah. It had a lot of potential to be an awesome story with a kickass Harry, but then just got boring.

    Definite 3/5 from me.
     
  13. Link

    Link Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Harry Potter and the Opposite side of the coin, by Arildun
    After Harry vanquished Voldemort as a baby, The Malfoys use their high reputation to adopt Harry Potter. Now they secretly train him to become Voldemort's most loyal and dangerous servant.

    I was browsing the latest updates from FF.net - nothing really interesting but it caught my attention.

    I'd give it a 2.5/5, it's one of those 'guilty pleasures' fanfictions. And it's rare to see Harry actually seeking the Dark Lord and trying to help him resurrect.
     
  14. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Awkward writing is awkward. It's sightly hard to read but has promise at least. Maybe if the writer was invited to DLP? It could only help him/her and I want to like this story.
     
  15. Jamven

    Jamven Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Story I found last night, have only read up to chapter 8 atm... probably not library worthy, contains many things that many here don't care to read about. The writer did come up with a somewhat different way to get the time travel to work.

    Writing could use some polishing. The first 2 chapters or so, I found myself getting a bit lost (had a few drinks in me at the time, not sure how much that might affect it)

    Anyway, interesting read if you have the time

    *edit*
    Suppose a link might be nice
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5178251/1/30_Minutes_That_Changed_Everything
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2009
  16. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    I've been meaning to check that one out. So it's worth my time? It has like 35 chapters so far so it looks like the author is serious about it, so that's a plus...

    My contribution: Tower of Air by cluegirl (LiveJournal)
    Dumbledore's reaction to the MoM debacle at the end of OotP. No real summary since it's a LJ post, but I enjoyed it very much.

    I don't remember how I found the story, but at the time I was likely still getting my fics from MNFF, so that's a possibility. The author has a bunch of other stories that look to be mostly crap-tastic slash-fests, so this might very well be the only gem. I read the excellent Paterfamilias recced here the other day and it reminded me that I'd seen a few LJ fics so I looked this one up. If it were longer and Harry-centric I'd probably put it in For Review, but as it is, I'll leave it here. Thoughts? I'd be interested to read what others think of Dumbledore from this short ficlet.
     
  17. Jamven

    Jamven Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Seems things are going a bit too conveniently for the protagonist. Things just seem to fall into his lap... finding a long lost sister, bloodlines found, being adopted by the Grangers, Sirius being let free, and the number of people that are being let into Harry's "secret" is starting to annoy me.

    Add in an uber magical school that can give you OWL level knowledge in about a months time, and it should be a recipe for disaster...

    That said, I have found the story somewhat intriguing. The writing seems sound, the author is providing a somewhat believable back-story... though the touchy feely crap is starting to piss me off.

    I recommend it if you can stomach some of what I have posted above. It is by no means a sprawling epic, Harry has yet to take a level of badassness, and so far the story has been revolving around Harry finding a "family" of sorts.

    *edit*
    read it if you have nothing else to do, I wouldn't put off anything to read it though
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2009
  18. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    No offense, but this does lie closer to the "unreadable" end of the spectrum; it was wise not to put it up for review. After 100k or so words, there's no discernible conflict and the characters are just too wonderfully perfect to be believed. (Lest you think there's a story here, think again--there's no conflict to come if the author's latest A/N is to be believed). In this sense, it taps into the worst of the stereotypical Harry/Hermione stereotypes out there. Moreover, entire chapters read like revisionist history texts. Ick.
     
  19. Jamven

    Jamven Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, I can't seem to get past chapter 25. Pretty much stopped reading after Harry starts "getting use to being hugged all the time".

    Much all of what you say is true, probably why it can't keep my attention now. I'm am going to bookmark it and try to read it later, maybe when I can find a decent motivation to read it. I'll admit that tt was a pretty interesting concept when I first started reading though...
     
  20. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar High Inquisitor

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    Faint of Heart AU OotP. When the opportunity arises, a former conspirator will unknow --screw it. Another dimension travel story. HP/fem!HP

    Only three chapters so far, but it is really going great. Story is nice, writing is engaging and more importantly while the premise is not exactly new there are some pretty interesting twists.

    I will put it up for review when it has a bit more material.
     
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