WIP Blind Stars of Fortune by 100demons - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by T3t, Feb 26, 2015.

  1. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Title: Blind Stars of Fortune
    Author: 100demons
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Naruto
    Pairings: None
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 64,677
    Summary: Thirty year old Kakashi was supposed to have been killed by Pein during the Invasion. Instead, he wakes up in the body of his twenty year old self. (It gets a lot more complicated.) Time travel.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9008333/1/Blind-Stars-of-Fortune

    Kakashi travels back in time. Things start going wrong very, very fast. It's the best kind of trainwreck. 4.5/5, rounded up.
     
  2. Probellum

    Probellum Death Eater

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    I second this recc. It's been on my favorites for awhile, but I've kept from putting it up for review because it's still fairly short, IMO. It also doesn't have too good of an update rate.

    Pros: Suitably badass Kakashi
    Kakashi is neither OP, nor is he a able to fix ever problem
    The characterization of people like Genma, Tenzo and Raido are pretty interesting.
    Ninjas that act like ninjas? Yes please.

    Cons: Short-ish.
    Kakashi tends to think of Team 7 as 'pack.'
    Can give off a bit of an angsty feel.
     
  3. sonny_yalin

    sonny_yalin Third Year

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    I've enjoyed this so far as well. Another con I'd like to add to the existing ones in this thread is the author's use of 'kid talk' when characters like Naruto and Sasuke speak. Granted, they are kids, but the author is constantly using 'bestest' and other common kid-isms. It can get a bit repetitive to read during the kid scenes.

    However, Kakashi and Delta Squad are suitably written and more than make up for that small complaint.
     
  4. Shouldabeenadog

    Shouldabeenadog Auror

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    I am liking the heck out of this. The characters really sell this, even the children, who I think are pretty good.
     
  5. CareOtters

    CareOtters Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    I love me a Peggy Sue. This is a perfect example.

    Using Kakashi instead of Naruto helps shake things up a bit, along with making sure that we have an adult protagonist. I can suspend my disbelief down to teenagers acting like adults in a fantasy world, but time travel often ends up with psuedo-adult infants which is never a good idea.

    Characters and plot evolve at a snappy pace, and at circa 80k words, this is a tightly woven narrative - compare that with most fics, which are utterly unstructured and just meander aimlessly forever or never get off the ground. Apparently we're on the penultimate chapter, but it seems to have been abandoned. I wouldn't cry over spilt toad milk. Leaving things here would be like skipping the wedding scene in Return of the King; by this point, there's not much left to see.

    Naruto himself wasn't done badly, but even so, I would have preferred him to not be around as much. I guess such a prominent protagonist is just plain distracting. Not to mention the whole kicked puppy vibe he always has in these types of fics.

    The last update was October 2016, but there have been three additional chapters published since the thread originally went up.

    I can't put my finger on any one thing which prevents this from being a great fic, but it never quite crosses past good. I like it, but I don't love it. There's no wow factor here.

    4/5
     
  6. Knyght

    Knyght The Chosen One

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    Bringing back Kakashi of all people was an interesting choice as was returning to his early adulthood rather than his childhood. Playing the part of a man in his twenties is far more believable than a grown man trying to act like a child. It also means that he isn't in desperate pursuit of regaining his former strength like Naruto usually is since the difference between his future and past self isn't nearly as huge. If anything, the experience and knowledge of an extra decade just makes him that much more dangerous and he can instead focus on more important things.

    Taking advantage of the space-time nature of the Kamui in his dying moments work as well as any for messing with time travel.

    The scene of Kakashi returns was pretty terrible however. It was like a hamfisted way of telling the reader his motivations (with some original history thrown in), and the entire conversation was essentially redundant because it just ends with one replacing the other anyway. Kakashi's "pack" was really obnoxious; he's not some human dog and owning a few dogs doesn't make people think like that. I nearly quit at the end of the first chapter because of it and while it's never quite as bad as that later, it's never not annoying either. That whole transition could have been handled a lot better.

    I found myself skimming over the kid scenes when they didn't involve Kakashi as they were, unsurprising, pretty boring. I'm ambivalent towards the council considering there's little to indicate the clan leaders have any authority in running the village beyond their actual job roles in the manga. We've seen a few gatherings of authority figures in Konoha and the clan leaders are generally absent.

    And with Danzo, I was never quite sure exactly why he was treated as an enemy from the get-go. Obviously this was rectified with later events but, unless I simply missed something, it felt like 100demons was relying on the reader disliking Danzo enough to go along with it rather than justifying it himself.

    So considering all that, I'm surprised by how the story was able to turn things around for the better in my eyes.

    The overall infiltration (and later, escape) of Iwa was pretty good even if a couple of the 'in disguise' scenes dragged. Then there was using Gari who I don't think seen in a fanfic before and successfully building on the threat he present in the manga. Anyone so easily capable of a one-hit kill is dangerous as hell and this story builds on that perfectly instead of relying on a more common (and boring) choice like Roushi.

    And the sheer audacity of Danzo as he tries to get his way impressed me. I did not see that coming. It created some great tension with some fun fights on top and I was honestly wouldn't have expected that I would end up enjoying how the Uchiha plot was handled.

    Finally, that scene with Jiraiya when finally appears was pretty darn good in my opinion.

    "Teamwork."

    It's certainly a story of highs and lows.

    3.5/5 rounded up.