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WIP Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin By The Sinister Man - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by iamnotreal, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. Alpaca Queen

    Alpaca Queen Fourth Year

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    So I took nearly a month off, before the lack of good available HP fics and Dicra's recommendation drew me back to read the rest. And...yeah, it's not as bad as I thought it was at first blush. In fact, I think I had the misfortune of stopping at just about precisely the turning point of the fic, right before it shifted from one of the shittiest, most cliche things I'd ever read into something I actually kind of enjoy. It felt like such an abrupt change - I actually went back to look at old chapters, to see if maybe I'd misjudged them, but I still hate them just as much. It's just...right at the end of the first year, things get better.

    I mean, was it worth it to read through the first ~30 chapters? I'm sorry, but no. If I had known how good the fic was at various points before I'd started it, I wouldn't have read it. But once you've slogged through the first fifteen or twenty chapters, it's not really worth it to stop there either. The fic does get better, especially with regards to character portrayals - most obviously Jim and James become more relatable characters, exhibiting actual growth, and Ron is treated with a surprising amount of care and empathy. But all the characters begin acting more like actual people with real human concerns, as opposed to the caricatures of hatred or stupidity that I often felt they came across as in the first part, and this made all the interactions that much more enjoyable.

    That being said, I still see cliches abound in the setting and plot, and I still hate them. Most recently, there's the "godly house elves" bit, which is admittedly interesting, but only in the way that your roommate's crackpot conspiracy theories are interesting: "House elves control the world! They're secretly gods in disguise!" Like the stories people invent around the moon landing and JFK's murder, the tidbits that The Sinister Man thinks up aren't so much provable to be factually wrong (unfalsifiability and all that) as they are unnecessary. Does it honestly contribute anything concrete to the plot that there are seven distinct levels of Occlumency and Legilimency, for example? Why not just say that the fields are complex disciplines with many widely-varying techniques, and that some people know some of them and others know more, much like every other academic discipline out there? I mean, look at the Millenium Prize problems: each exists in a very different sub-discipline of mathematics, but all of them require knowledge and innovation at the very height of the field, because math isn't linear.

    And cliches like that would be fine, since the whole fic has been steadily improving for a while, except that I'm not sure that the improvement will continue indefinitely. At some point, we do have to circle back to that insufferable first chapter, which has the potential to go very very right (if new depths of character development are explored over time, resulting in greater empathy for both sides without compromising the conflict) or very very wrong (in all the obvious ways too numerous to list, chief of which is simply that we have to relive the introduction). I know that the recent truce between the brothers cannot last, due to a combination of that and the prophecy, and that means more contrived, artificial drama between two increasingly likable characters, and that's not mentioning my wariness at the recent portrayals of the Malfoys.

    So yeah, it's better, and I'll read it, but it's not exactly A+ material. I'd give it a 3/5 for now, but I'll still read it hopefully and revise that score as necessary.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2016
  2. Kirbyblox

    Kirbyblox Squib

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    I'm not going to lie, I actually quite like this fanfic. This is my first time seeing a competent Peter Pettigrew, and I like it. The author uses a number of overused clichés, but ties them together quite nicely. I rate it a 4/5
     
  3. yrtb

    yrtb Squib

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    There are definitely cliches in this story that are often overdone, but I still enjoyed it quite a bit. It's nice that the villains are not purely stupid and evil, but actually have some interesting character development to them. and I like the fact that James, Lily, and Dumbledore aren't intentionally evil and manipulative like they are in a lot of other other BWL stories.
     
  4. davoid123

    davoid123 Squib

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    so I read this story.
    I can, with all honesty, say this is one of the best WBWL stories I've ever read (and also the best Slytherin!Harry)
    that's not saying much, of course, seeing as most of them are horrible anyway, but I can say this story was one of the few I actually followed seriously (and thankfully, The Sinister Man is, more or less, punctual in his updating) and one of the few that I read without putting my phone down in the process...

    of course, the original prologue chapter was horrible (and OOC for his Harry and Jim, as we they are now), but he changed it (and, I can say, the newer prologue (though, not that new), is better.
    of course, the first chapters are a bit...er...unsatisfactory (and I think even HE knows it), but still had many funny moments in them, and the ending of his first book (from the Voldemort scene up to the last scene in the last chapter of HP:poS) was awesome.
    the Second book was even better (and while it had some...wierd...scenes, (I'm talking to you, Lar fight in the last chapter and Diary's AI) over all it was waaaaay better than almost 80% of the stories one could find in FANFICTION (though, that's just my opinion. the Only story I couldn't find a flaw in was HPMoR (and that was because the author literally said 'f*** you' to the canon in the first 4 or 5 paragraphs) and any other, I've had something to complain about)

    and, about the LAR battle in the last chapter, I think The Sinister Man actually WANTED to write a crack-scene like that (like, here we are talking about magic and stuff, then two creatures less than 4 feet tall are fighting in a universe nine layers removed from the reality...), and hopefully won't do something like that again (which I doubt. Dobby is not likely to leave just now, and with Draco (*Sorry* DRAKE) leaving for Drumstrung, there's a void in the main secondary characters that will be filled by someone, probably Dobby)
     
  5. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Two things: First, the author is indeed alive.
    Second, the chapters 1-7 are updated. I haven't yet read them but his summary of what he did seems reasonable (can be found in the prologue chapter). Still, I don't expect amazing things from these chapters.
     
  6. startrekfan

    startrekfan Second Year

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    Wouldn't you like to know...
    While the first year is rather a "guilty pleasure read", now with the second year I have to admit that this fanfiction is actually one of my favourite, probably even my one favourite that is still updated.

    You may criticize the point that many fanfiction stereotypes are opened up, which is especially prevalent in the first book, after a time you will notice, that he usually takes a very special and usually New approach to then.

    The story is also rather consistent in itself, it's universe and magic rather understandable, even to the point where it sometimes even explains some plotholes of canon which may not sit well with many readers, but I personally kind of like it.

    The storyline itself is rather longwinded, but still captivating as the author is very consistent in his update-schedule. Despite this exercise in patience, one can see (or at least guess) that the author knows where he wants to go.

    One may take offense that the characters are sometimes so differently from canon, but most of them are despite this or even because of this far deeper and much more awesome than in canon (Peter, lucius, RAB...). Also most of those persons are rather unexplored in jks books.

    So as a kind of fanboy I would give a 4/5, taking a point dfor the admittedly rather subpar first year and and the OPish tendencies of Harry.
     
  7. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Ah, well. The "improvements" aren't really worth mentioning, except maybe for the very first chapter after the prologue, which is now a lot less clumsy.
    Most of it are minor dialogue or prose changes which strengthens my assumption that there wasn't really much that could be done about the admittedly horribly clichéd plot in the first few chapters - and the plot couldn't be changed too much because there are important bits in the story grounding on it.
    Granted, there are now a few more hints at what's about to come later and it reads a bit better, but it's not that big of an improvement.

    Concerning the howler scene, I think he actually managed to make James Potter look even worse. Ah, well. People do tend to do dumb things when they're that drunk, I suppose.
     
  8. T3hPf1r3

    T3hPf1r3 Banned

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    So I'm going to give my opinion on the fic and then summarize what i see as its biggest strengths and flaws (and why they tend to hold a lot of people back from reading this).

    To be blunt, this is probably the best non-crack Harry Potter fanfic I've read. I want to hold off on a definitive rating since several other fics I liked have unfortunately gone downhill pretty quickly (won't name any names) and I agree with a previous reviewer that if the prologue isn't handled properly when we revisit it then the fic could go downhill fast.

    But as of the end of the second year, this fic is definitely one of my favorites, for two main reasons. Firstly, every character's actions make sense. Lockheart is competent. Pettigrew is competent. Dumbledore is competent. Everyone and their mother (literally) is competent. True some characters aren't the brightest (James and Jim for example), but their actions at least make sense. Questionable parts of the canon are rewritten and reasonably explained. DiaryRiddle's plot, for instance, is a lot more than "petrify random Mudbloods mwahaha"

    The second is that the author builds onto the series by including different types of magic (Wild Magic, the Anathema Codex, Esoteric Magic) and it's all nicely explained. Wild Magic particularly is a great addition that adds a lot of world building and mystique, especially since we don't know everything about it yet.

    So what's the catch?

    The author subverts many WBWL tropes, but this requires him to establish these tropes in the first place. This means that the first 1/2 of the 1st book is a slog to get through because it's so over-the-top it's cringeworthy. It's all worth it later on, but the fact remains that you have to wait a bit for the good stuff. Hadrian Remus Potter is explained in a way that adds a nice touch of worldbuilding, but you don't get that until the second book.

    So I'd give this a 4 or 4.5/5 simply because of the fact that the story starts off pretty poorly. I'm extremely glad I pushed through because the rest is more than worth it.

    ________

    Anyway that's a spoiler-free review. I'll probably post later with my predictions and thoughts (as a reader, not a reviewer), but I wanted to get this out of the way first.
     
  9. davoid123

    davoid123 Squib

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    come on, he's gonna put the story on Hiatus until the end of September?
    I'm not sure I can wait that long!
    (also, not much was changed in the first seven chapters, mostly dialogues and stuff. well, it improved by most, but not that much. and FINALLY, he admits that he's bashing James potter!)
     
  10. iamnotreal

    iamnotreal Second Year

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    I couldn't find any AN that suggested he was holding off till the end of September. Do you mind posting a quote?

    Also if this isn't the case the next chapter will drop in about 2 days time. Exciting stuff!

    Wow how embarrassing, it's in the frikkin title! My bad.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2016
  11. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Ah, that's that. My life is over.

    Nah, joking, but I really was looking forward to the start of year 3 despite the cringeworthy house elves bit in ch. 82.
     
  12. theimmortalhp

    theimmortalhp Third Year

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    The only reason he can keep up with his rapid update schedule is because he takes a couple months between each year to write a ton. Otherwise, he would update super slowly because he'd have to come up with ideas on the fly. If that means he's gonna take an extra month, then that's what he's gonna take.
     
  13. Hush

    Hush Seventh Year

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    Actually he just posted the latest chapter, I'm assuming that it won't be until the 30th that the school year starts or something... The chapters from now on will be every second week but they'll be comparatively larger. Apparently, we'll see I guess
     
  14. davoid123

    davoid123 Squib

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    well, I just read the House of Seven Gargoyles.
    I've got to say, it explained why Theo was known as 'Theo No-name' in the Prologue.
    I was thinking he'd done something in the graveyard scene of the fourth book (whatever it's name's gonna be) and gotten disowned for that.
    eh, This is, IMO, better than what I thought.
    of course, it wasn't bad, but not praise-worthy either (not like almost the entire book two), still I'm looking forward to read the next chapter, this one Hermione (and Blaise, I suppose) centric.
    also, Seriously? a Curse of Enmity that affects literally everyone in the whole magickal world? isn't that a bit...extreme? (I mean, Yes. Harry does have something of the similar type with the muggles, but I'm assuming it has something to do either with the Horcrux (if he even HAS one in him in this story) or the mysterious ancestor that he shares with Jim and Lily)
     
  15. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Very solid chapter with a nice moment between Theo and his brother. Not particularly outstanding, but also without any WTF-ish moments (at least in my book) and with a few quite interesting scenes.
     
  16. T3hPf1r3

    T3hPf1r3 Banned

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    So the author needed to disown Theo with no one adopting him (especially Lucius and Agusta) for 2 years. I guess an oath of enmity between all wizingmot families did it. And it built on the path of enmity which we talked about. So that's fine by me.

    It was a bit extreme, but not too bad and I hope it's handled well. No what really looks interesting to me is Alex having to become a Death Eater. We know that there can be death eaters who work against Voldemort (like Snape or Lucius), but it adds a nice level of "oh shit" to when Voldemort does return.

    Part of me wonders if Alex will commit suicide to not become a Death Eater, but I wish that he instead became like Snape and fights against them in secret. Of course if Tiberius is a Death Eater he'll make it known that Alex into trustworthy. So the Dark Lord would know not to trust him fully.

    Also I wonder if the reason Muggles hate Harry is because Voldemort swore an oath of enmity towards muggles (either out of spite or to gain political allies) and Harry is a horcrux. HOLY SHIT WAIT if the Dark Mark works at the soul level then maybe Muggles hate all the Death Eaters too (giving him a means to fuel his cause).

    I'll put away my tin hat now
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016
  17. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    New chapter up here. Finally.

    I'm not really sure what to think of it. The Italian Trace seems dangerous and stupid beyond belief, the author even knows that and exposes its weakness, but it is never adressed.
    Apart from that, if there is one more child with a Tragic Backstory (TM), the author might as well rename Hogwarts into "The Traumatized Children's School".
    Hermione's To-Do-List could go both ways and...

    ...why does he even bother to flesh out Blaise's backstory that much, to give him such a big threat to cope with? We have one main character, and I don't think that equally large threats on every secondary character are going to do the story any good, because you have to find a limit (word-count-wise) somewhere.
     
  18. davoid123

    davoid123 Squib

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    I think the Black Hand, like the gargoyles of the Nott House, are just a one-shot deal.
    I mean, he's already said the prelude chapters are just for character building before he goes on to the story, so I doubt the black hand (and, Blaise's backstory) will come up again, at least not for some time.

    I'm quite curious about how he's going to do the azkaban thing though. I mean, the story has the basis of Belatrix not being an irredeemable monster (I think that position is being filled by Narcissa as it is), so she might be redeemed too?
    and Sirius as well. I mean, now that he knows the potters are probably safe, and probably hates the Potters (as seen in some of the prologue, and the first chapter), the canon reason for Harry meeting him is basically moot, and now that Harry already suspects (*cough*knows*cough*) he's innocent, it's not like he'll go all vengeful on the poor man...
    Meh, if the last book was any clue, he'll know what he's doing...
     
  19. Darthlawyer

    Darthlawyer First Year

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    The new chapters are nice but not up to the level of last year. I had two questions about the plot and was wondering what you guys think.
    1. The enmity thing it seemed to me that if the proper paper work wouldn't have been filed the oath wouldn't work?

    2. In the chapter where Harry is invited to help with Luna's situation Hermione tells about her home situation (which came directly from A well groomed mind btw). Her parents are described as distant and Hermione as a mandatory child. The interaction in the last chapter doesn't seem right in that light?
     
  20. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    New chapter up just now. Introducing new cultures with a completely different way of doing things compared to the one we know is always dangerous, but until now it seems like he does it in a very reasonable way.
    I'm normally not very fond of exploring wildly different cultures in HP fanfiction, mostly because it's usually badly done. But this bit of worldbuilding I did enjoy, and I think it can be an interesting route for further exploration in later chapters.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2016
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