WIP Path to Power by sirius009 - M

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by Microwave, Jun 2, 2018.

  1. Microwave

    Microwave Second Year

    Oct 21, 2017
    Title: Path to Power
    Author: sirius009
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Status: In Progress (107,997 words)
    Library Category: General Fics
    Pairings: Harry/Daphne
    Summary: Harry Potter was excited to learn of the wizarding world, unfortunately he had no idea the crucible he was walking into. AU. Eventual Harry/Daphne
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12863363/

    This story is a 7-year AU centred around Harry as a Ravenclaw.

    I'm not exactly sure what to think about this story. It's certainly enjoyable, but I'm not sure if it constitutes as anything "good". The story has a lot of AU elements that have little to no effect on the plot, but are prevalent enough to be confusing. The "dark" and "gritty" aspects of the story also go a bit overboard at times to ridiculous extents. At times, it also has uncomfortably mature eleven-year olds, but that doesn't seem to occur too much. I think this story has many flaws, but it's technically sound, with few grammatical mistakes, and a fun read.

    Hermione dies though, which is kind of refreshing.

    2.5/5, rounded up to 3
  2. pbluekan

    pbluekan High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Jan 24, 2014
    United States of Trump
    Why didn’t you just put this in the Almost Recommended thread if you didn’t even think it was library worthy?
  3. Plotless

    Plotless Professor

    Jan 8, 2015
    The almost recommended thread is locked because it stifles discussion.

    I'll drop a review of this when I get through it and edit it in later to not waste space.


    I felt like I had already read this despite knowing that I hadn't, because it seems to follow the same formula that every 7 year AU that changes nothing major does. Maybe in 2007 this would've been a new and interesting plot, and with just the plot alone it isn't that bad honestly.

    The main drawback is how bland the writing is and the fact that there are basic errors that immediately take me out of the story. The dialogue is pretty poor and characterization is inconsistent, which makes it a slog to get through.

    Last edited: Jun 3, 2018
  4. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

    Apr 28, 2007
    Within the Garden of Nurgle.
    High Score:
    He's following direction.
    He could have posted it directly to almost rec but it's okay here someone can move it later.

    I was surprised to realize I'd read this before. I remember not liking it much. Especially because of what was stated in the OP.

    Technical skill doesn't always make for an enjoyable read. 2/5.
  5. Tomster10010

    Tomster10010 Third Year

    Dec 1, 2011
    There's still an Almost Recommended forum. where you can make new threads just like this.

    On to the review (such as it is):
    I couldn't get past chapter 2 because the writing was just technically bad.
    More specifically, the author doesn't know how to punctuate dialogue. He handles this by using all of the punctuation. There's italics, periods, commas, a couple semicolons, single and double quotes, and probably some others. Maybe I'm petty, but I had a hard time getting past that. I checked one of the later chapters and it seemed to have mostly settled down (but it looked like a bunch of bad manipulative!Dumbledore, gray!wizengamot!politician!Sirius dreck with some poorly written tsundere Daphne on top), though there were still some inconsistencies.

    The first couple chapters also showed an inconsistent (and boring) description of magic theory, a somewhat interesting description of a dueling league at Hogwarts, some spooky plots, and truly mediocre characterization.

    If I could get through it I think that I'd give it a 2/5, but I can't get past the writing/grammar so I won't rate it.

    I really want to read a good, long Ravenclaw Harry fic, but I can't seem to find any new ones. The only ones I've read that I can remember are HPBWL (of course), Knowledge is Power (which isn't good, but it was one of the first fics I read and I still have a soft spot for it) and some DLP story that involved a roof and a vault (it started in 5th or 7th year and Luna was important, I think.)
  6. pbluekan

    pbluekan High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Jan 24, 2014
    United States of Trump
    That, I didn’t know.

    Anyhow, I got through chapter eight. It’s just a bland repeat of what we’ve seen for years, and I had a hard time even getting past the first chapter.

    Technically, the writing is generally sound, which is basically the only redeeming factor here. The author has some issues with dialogue and internal monologue, but it really isn’t unbearable. Where everything falls short is the prose. The whole story can be read out in a monotone and lose absolutely nothing.

    Overall, a 2/5, not even trending up. There is literally nothing special here.