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WIP The Trouble With Time Turners by Katsala - T

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Dark Minion, Feb 19, 2016.

  1. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,231
    Series Title: The Trouble With Time Turners
    Author: Katsala
    Rating: T
    DLP-Category: Humor
    Genre: Humor, Parody, Crack
    Pairings: Harry/Hermione/Ron, Neville/Luna/Ginny
    Link: http://archiveofourown.org/series/301806


    Part 1: The Reason We Can't Have Nice Things
    Published: May 11, 2015
    Completed: August 7, 2015
    Words: 5855
    Chapters: 10
    Status: Complete

    Summary: Luna. The reason is Luna. (Though in all technicality Draco shouldn't have left her alone with the Veil and a ridiculous amount of Time Turners and the rest of his turkey sandwich, because now they're all back in their fourth year at Hogwarts (minus Ginny and Luna who are third years) and they can't get back to the future (or possibly other dimension according to Luna because of how time travel works (Draco's head is starting to hurt)) and they can't tell anyone about what happened and even Hermione can't figure out why not, and Luna ate his sandwich. (It was a damned good sandwich.)) Draco, of course, is handling everything wonderfully.

    Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3915808/chapters/8766055


    Part 2: The Duncan Method
    Published: January 14, 2016
    Updated: February 16, 2016
    Words: 2737
    Chapters: 6
    Status: In Progress

    Summary: Time Travel fix-it fic, second in series. Fifth year, taking a bunch of liberties. Read the first story before this one.

    Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5722162/chapters/13184401



    This is a series of time-travel crack fics, loosely following canon events, starting with book four.

    The premise: While experimenting with time turners, a group of people gets send back into their fourth year. Hermione (currently Minister for Magic), Harry, Ron, Luna, Neville, Ginny and Draco. They all are friendly with each other, forming a more or less tight knitted group in the future. Now with the chance at hand, they decide to save everyone and to get rid of Voldemort early on. Later on (at the beginning of year 5) Percy and wife join them.


    The story consists of short chapters, with even shorter scenes. It reminds me a bit of Rorschach’s style, but it is definitely better written. The main action is told in passing with switching point of views, usually by one member of the group who acts as a bystander. So we don’t see much of the Tournament’s tasks, just some comments about the way they have been solved.

    There are glaring plotholes, some really ooc behaviour, but as it isn’t intended to be a serious story, I could easily overlook the problems. The pairings as listed above aren’t really that visible and are mentioned in passing, i.e. Ginny and Neville watching Harry and Ron dance during the yule ball.

    I rate it with 4/5 stars, but I can see that people not into this kind of stories are easily turned off.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2016
  2. Timeturn098

    Timeturn098 Squib

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2015
    Messages:
    11
    I read through two chapters of part one (which really isn't saying much as it amounts to about a thousand words) and couldn't bring myself to continue.
    I understand that it's a parody but it's painful and not entertaining (enough) in the least. Perhaps it improves later on but you're still required to slog through the short but excruciating beginning description of Minister Hermione's reforms. The paragraph aims for "snark" but fails to deliver. Take it as foreshadowing. The writing is good but dizzying and annoying to read/follow if you're not focused on filtering out the auxiliary stuffing.

    All in all, imo, it's a complete waste of time if you're not willing to buckle down and read it and even then, it's not worth much. It's intended to be humorous (I assume, anyways) so if you're into quick reads and have time (and brain cells) to burn, then you might enjoy it. Honestly, it's not (that) bad and there's a chance you'll like it. Like Dark Minon said, it's not for everyone, including me. 3/5
     
  3. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2009
    Messages:
    598
    The AO3 is definitely strong in this one. More than the unconventional relationships, I was frustrated reading it because they all sort of act like Muggles; its hard to pin down how exactly, but descriptions of their future read more like "quirky government sitcom" than HP (seriously, mundane cancer and chemo is a thing for wizards?) The drabbly format doesn't really do it any favors either.

    I got about halfway through so far. I might soldier on later to give it more of a chance, but it's a 2/5 for now.
     
  4. morningbeauvoir

    morningbeauvoir First Year

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2015
    Messages:
    34
    Location:
    Birmingham, United Kingdom
    High Score:
    0
    I tried to read this last night, but I was too tired to make sense of it. A bad sign.

    A lot of things annoyed me about this fic: the over reliance on parentheses, going with a "tell, not show" approach, the flat attempts to introduce wackiness, and that chapter seven is only seven words long.

    All the same I can't not read it. It's grotesquely fascinating.

    This could be improved by the author flicking an elastic band on their wrist every time (they are tempted to do this). The author could try learning how commas work, and how to spell penseive.

    2/5 as of chapter seven, will update when I've read it all.

    Edit: I've read the first part, and what there is of the second. This story could be improved immeasurably if the author would just take a little bit of time to properly establish a scene. In the second part I was unsure for most of the scene what year it was set, whether it was supposed to be a sequel or an AU of an AU. For most of the chapters, and scenes within chapters, whose perspective the scene was from was unclear. It felt rushed. No effort was made to establish the pairings. I'd have liked to see how the relationships got together, why they complement each other etc.

    I'd have liked more detail about the time before the time-turner incident than a short introductory paragraph.

    I don't think it can be anything more than a guilty pleasure read, and not because it's cracky. Crack!fic can be done well, just look at Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281. The ridiculous overuse of parentheses and lack of exploration/development make it a 1/5 from me.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2016
  5. Eimim

    Eimim First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2010
    Messages:
    39
    Location:
    Finland
    Wow, this is really difficult to read. I like the premise, and I want to enjoy the fic, but it has paragraphs like this:
    Ugh

    The further along I read the more I start to automatically skip anything in parentheses. Despite being badly written, the idea is entertaining enough for me want to finish reading this.
    2/5 for now

    Edit:
    The writing gets better, the content gets worse.
    1.5/5 so I guess I'll keep it at 2/5
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2016
  6. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,231

    Yeah, that's really a problem, there. Even later on, there are out-of-universse remarks that just don't fit.
     
  7. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    Well, it's definitely crack!fic.

    Chapter 1 made my eyes hurt, so I pretty much skipped to Chapter 2 which I found more palatable. But then I've never been into post-series stuff much, and Chapter 2 we're back at the sorting.

    I admit it has a neat way of dealing with the time travel. They are incapable of informing anyone of it, despite Hermione's efforts, which neatly deals with a lot of plot related issues.

    I got a bit excited at this point, but I found myself more or less unable to get into it. It's too weird, if that makes sense. The characters have almost nothing in common with their canon counterparts, there's not much sense of setting, little interaction with canon characters outside of the time travelers, and canon plot points don't seem to be in attendance. There's not enough of the HPverse in it for me to latch onto and find the rest enjoyable.

    I'd tentatively give it a 2/5, but I skimmed more than read, so I'll think on whether or not I rate the thread itself. I might not have invested enough into it.
     
  8. KingRoger

    KingRoger Second Year

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2012
    Messages:
    76
    Location:
    Australia
    Oh boy, you weren't kidding. The second paragraph of chapter one has a parenthesis within a parenthesis. If this is a warning sign for the rest of the fic, I may be better off just giving up now.
     
  9. morningbeauvoir

    morningbeauvoir First Year

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Birmingham, United Kingdom
    High Score:
    0
    There are later chapters with three parentheses within a parentheses! Three! If just the one-within-one bothers you then you might find reading the rest difficult.
     
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